I knew I liked the new CD from Greg Fitzsimmons, “Life on Stage,” but it wasn’t until I found myself slipping his anecdotes into my everyday conversations that I realized just how much it stuck with me. Granted, I don’t try to pass off his material as my own but I am pretty sure people are getting sick of hearing me start off every other sentence with the phrase, “Ya know, I was listening to this comedian the other day...”
What can I say? If Fitzsimmons wasn’t so simultaneously accurate and humorous with his observations about insurance and the fact that it’s really just legalized gambling (“I bet I die.” “I bet you don’t.”) and the glass half-full way of looking at debt (It just means you had more fun that you were supposed to), then maybe I could start relying on my own wit to get myself through social interactions. Fortunately for people like me who depend on the insights of others to inject humor into discussions, he doesn’t show any signs of letting up.
Like it says in the old adage, what Fitzsimmons has to say is funny because it’s true. The countries with the most water really are the most powerful and the way we seem to flaunt it really is a little over the top. While arid societies struggle and their inhabitants walk two miles in sandals for a bucket of drinkable water, we’ve got theme parks devoted to sliding down it, we throw our extra money in it, and then we go home and poop in it. Take that, third world.
Fitzsimmons proves how good he is at working off-the-cuff when he ventures into the audience to play the game at which he is remarkably skilled, “Guess the Asian.” His foray leads him into a bit on Hawaii that is so good, it shows he’s either really really good at improvising or he’s got a great bit tucked away, hoping he’ll bump into someone from the Pacific paradise so he can use it.
For every nugget of truth Fitzsimmons doles out (If someone who can’t speak the language can steal your job then maybe you suck at your job), he’s also got some ideas that are...well, they’re pretty unique. He makes a strong case for not getting glasses when you get older, reveals how to get a man to do ANYTHING YOU WANT, wonders why we rescue dogs but not the homeless, and strongly believes no woman should leave an abortion clinic feeling ashamed (You just won a million bucks!).